Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I have post one night stand depression
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
