hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
