thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
