Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
