I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
