At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize