Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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