my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
