he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
