I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
