Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He did a backflip because drugs
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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