just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
