Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize