Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
