we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
