I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
