doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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