Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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