11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
