I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sponge bath it is.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
