He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
