That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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