Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
