Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
