North Korea, Best Korea!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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