xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
