he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
