I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize