i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
