Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
