He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
