The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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