i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
