Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
