Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
