i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it glows. i had to have it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize