i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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