addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
