It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
