I love black thongs
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
