You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
