yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
