just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think your dad took our porno
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
