i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
