you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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