What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize