The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
love makes seman taste better
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
