Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
