You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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