Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize