You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
