Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
