You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
