Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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