u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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