Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize