i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
