Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
