If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't turn off my feet"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
