I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
