I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize