I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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