no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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