Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
