you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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