Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so let's talk penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize