Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
organizing the empties. That sober.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
