the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Drake has all the answers
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
