Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
