Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
