my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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