Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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