Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
