if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
